Shattered
by uekibachi
Summary: [shounen ai] Omi doesn't understand why Youji leaves him shattered [OmixYouji]


Shattered  
  
Shattered. That's what his heart felt like. It felt shattered and   
broken. Omi clutched at his jacket as he pushed his way through  
the beating storm. Wet lumps dropped down on his blonde head as he shivered. Omi stopped and looked around, wondering   
where he was. It was dark and the streets looked eerie. What if he   
made a wrong turn? Omi felt cold water slide down the back of his   
shirt. He quickly pulled his jacket up and around his neck to prevent   
it.  
How did I end up here in the first place? Omi's mind whined to him.   
Then with a shatter of lightening Omi squealed and ran for cover.  
Youji.  
That's why he was here.  
He huddled against the store wall where just a few inches of cover spaned   
over him.  
"I..." Omi tried to say he hated him but the word wouldn't - couldn't   
come out. Omi broke out in a sob. Why did he leave him so suddenly and   
just when he thought they were happy together? Did he dislike   
him because he found someone more interesting to talk to?  
Tears clouded up Omi's eyes, blending with the water dripping over his   
face.  
"I just don't understand..."  
  
Youji stuck his hands in his pockets and weathered the storm. It was   
coming down hard. It fit his mood, he thought to himself.  
Omi... He thought back to only a few moments ago. The picture of his   
sad and hurt eyes burned into his mind.  
He didn't want to hurt him!  
He turned around and stared up at the sky, letting the stinging droplets   
of water penetrate his jade green eyes. He quickly looked down when he couldn't   
stand it anymore. I don't... but that's not good enough. I wish there were   
some other way to make him see... 'You could tell him the truth' a part   
of him said. Youji shook his head, "No he wouldn't understand."  
  
  
Omi let out a tired groaned as he slid down against the store wall to   
the cement. He pulled his bare legs up against his chest and circled his   
arms around them. Pressing his face into his knees Omi cried to himself.   
This isn't right, Youji. You shouldn't have cared for me in the first   
place because then I wouldn't be feeling this heartbroken! If you knew we   
weren't going to last forever, why didn't you say something?  
Omi sniffed.  
Maybe he did... not so much in words but in actions. Omi began to cry   
harder. He never loved him, did he?  
  
  
"What am I going to do about him?" Youji continued on his way home.   
He couldn't prevent bumping into him and he couldn't just walk away all   
the time when he looked at him with those... beautiful... 'sad' eyes. If   
he wasn't careful, one day he would crack and then- Youji swallowed   
hard.  
"He would be gone."  
  
  
  
"Love is for losers..." Omi bit his lip from crying anymore. He didn't   
want to cry over him when he wasn't worth it. He didn't love her. He   
thought back to the way he looked at him. Cold and uncaring. If he could   
just 'care' for me, maybe that would be enough, but he doesn't.  
  
  
Youji turned the corner and looked down the street. A piece of   
lightening struck the air and lit up a small boy sitting against one   
of the stores. Youji looked intently down on the small thing. Was the   
boy insane? Upon a closer look Youji realized the boy was not only   
insane, he was Bombay! He swiftly walked over to him and squatted   
down in front of him, "Omittchi?"  
When he didn't respond he touched his shoulder.  
He jumped back, startled, and looked up at him with frightened eyes. His   
heart tightened, "Oh... Omittchi..." He breathed.  
He stared at him before looking away, "Go away, Youji." Tears started   
to come up, threatening to fill his blue eyes.  
Youji's mouth fell open. He'd never heard him say something that cold   
since... since forever. He thought to himself. Did he hate him? No. That couldn't be true!  
He leaned over and slide one arm under his legs and the other behind his   
back. Omi squealed before screaming at him, "Put me down! I don't want   
you to..." He choked on his tears, "hold me..." He started to cry at   
the warmth he was already giving him.  
Youji walked down the street, towards his apartment, ignoring Omi's protests.   
He wasn't about to let him die out in this weather because of him.  
"Put me down!" He beat his chest and kicked his legs.  
A few minutes later Youji stepped out of the rain and into the lobby to   
his apartment.  
A man behind the desk looked up at them startled.  
"Youji put me down! I want to be left out in the rain! I don't want to be   
in here!" He kicked and screamed not caring who saw him.  
The man looked at them confused before seeing Youji's worried yet   
determined eyes.  
Youji stepped into the elevator, finally putting Omi down. Omi  
jumped away from him and pressed himself up against the wall to get as   
far away from him as possible. He didn't love him. He repeated in his  
head.  
Youji stared at him with sorrowful eyes but Omi didn't see the hurt   
in them. He was too busy not looking at him.  
The doors opened.  
Youji moved to step out when he realized Omi was still standing up   
against the wall, looking down at the floor.  
"It's warm inside." He suggested.  
He didn't move.  
"Omi."  
He sniffed and looked down at a corner of the elevator.  
Youji sighed and swung him over his shoulder. Omi screamed,   
"You can't treat me like this! I never asked for your help!"  
Omi pounded his fists on his back in frustration. Why was he doing   
this to him if he was only going to act cold and mean tomorrow! It   
wasn't fair!  
  
Youji opened the door to his apartment and set him down near the couch.   
He locked the door before stepping out of the room to get some towels and   
some hot chocolate.  
Omi went silent after Youji left the room. He looked around the   
living room. It looked the same as any other time he'd been here. Omi   
felt tears come to his eyes ten fold as he remembered the good times that   
they had here. Sweet kisses, cooking dinner, talking softly to each other.   
Where had he gone wrong? Omi fell down on the couch not caring if he   
would soak the expensive material.  
"Here." Youji came back setting the hot chocolate on the table and handing   
him a white towel. Omi took the towel and wiped his face before flipping   
the towel on top of his head to cover his face. He wanted too much to cry   
some more with out Youji watching.  
Youji looked at Omi's towel covered face with worry. He heard him  
sniff back choked sobs.  
He looked down at the hot steam coming from the drinks on the coffee table.   
Why did he have to cause so much pain?  
As he picked up his drink he wondered what he should do now that he was   
here. He didn't seem too forgiving at the moment and he still couldn't get   
too close. Youji gripped his mug, "This isn't fair..." he whispered under   
his breath.  
"Ha!" Omi pulled the towel off his head, "You don't even know what   
unfair is." He sniffed and took the warm mug in his hands and drank   
slowly, keeping his eyes off of Youji.  
Youji gave him a swift glare before sighing dejectedly.  
"When you're done with that, I'll take you home."  
"I don't want to go home." He mumbled over his drink.  
Youji looked intently at him, "You don't have a choice. I'm not going   
to let you walk out of here just to go sit out in the rain again."  
Omi sniffed and ignored him.  
Youji stood up, upset. He hated how Omi was treating him! He either   
ignored him or screamed at him! What was wrong with him?!  
  
Without warning Omi set his cup down and stood up. Youji watched   
him silently as she walked down the hallway and went into the bathroom.   
Youji went into the kitchen to refill his cup. For a sixteen-year-old   
boy he sure knew how to purposely get on his nerves.  
He had to know that he was making him mad with his attitude!  
Ten minutes later Youji looked at his wristwatch. What was taking him so   
long? He walked down the hallway and raised his fist to knock when he heard   
soft crying coming from inside. He put his hand down and stared at the door   
with a frown. Omi sobbed loudly before muffling it with something.  
Youji stepped back and leaned against the opposite wall. He stared at the   
door as he slid down to a sitting position with his long legs in front of   
him.  
Don't cry, Omi. I never wanted to make you cry.  
In his mind he could see Omi huddled on his bathroom floor with a towel   
in his lap. Tears pooled down his cheeks and his eyes became red and   
puffy. Youji felt like crying himself. He hurt him. He was sure of it.   
Why else would he cry like that? Like... his heart was... shattered.  
  
Omi finally managed to get his feelings under control. He opened   
the bathroom door only to find Youji sitting in front of it, leaning   
against the opposite wall.  
Did Youji hear him cry?   
"I'm sorry, Omittchi." He whispered.   
Omi swallowed and stepped out into the hallway, shutting the bathroom   
door behind him, "Sorry?" Omi asked, confused.  
Youji looked up at him. His eyes held sorrow, grief, hate (for himself)   
and love (for him). Omi shook his head mentally. He was not seeing   
those emotions in his eyes. He had to be imagining them.  
Youji stood up and stepped closer to him.  
Omi pressed his back up against the bathroom door and shut his eyes   
tight.  
Then before he knew it, Youji's arms wrapped around him and pulled   
him against his chest.  
Youji knew he shouldn't be holding him, confusing him, confusing him   
self but he had to touch him and to comfort him somehow.  
Omi's eyes snapped open in surprise. He kept her arms to his sides,   
afraid to lose him twice. Why was he doing this? Was he trying to hurt   
him again?  
Once again, Omi wanted to cry.  
"I'm sorry I hurt you..." he whispered into his hair. He kissed the side   
of his head, his forehead, then his nose. Omi closed his eyes in   
bliss.  
Omi opened his mouth to speak but then realized he had nothing to say.   
How could he forgive him so easily? And was he really asking for   
forgiveness? If he was really going to just break his heart again why was   
he holding him like this?  
"Youji... I-" He made a mistake by looking up at him. His eyes were   
looking intently at his face and then... his lips. Omi shivered at   
the intimate look. He hadn't looked at him like that since.....  
His emerald eyes held passion and desire, something he was afraid of at that moment   
of insecurity.  
It wasn't fair that he should still have the power over him with just one   
look when he didn't deserve it! Omi tried to convince himself but still   
the thought of kissing Youji made his stomach burst into butterflies and   
his head light.  
He just stared at his tempting lips. Should I? He thought as he lifted a   
hand to Omi's face. He traced his jaw line with his finger before softly   
running his thumb over his bottom lip. Omi's breath came out in short   
gasps as he touched his face. Omi closed his eyes, trying not to think so   
much about his touch or the way he was looking at him. He should just   
leave. He should walk out of there right now and never look back.  
However, as he felt Youji's bangs brush her forehead all of those   
thoughts went out the window.  
Youji lowered his head and lightly brushed his lips against his.   
Oh gosh... I think I just lost it! With that thought he deepened the   
kiss, pulling him closer to him.  
Omi whimpered as he lost his self-control and wrapped his arms   
around his neck, matching the desire in his kiss.  
  
Ring, ring, ring...  
  
Youji hastily broke away from Omi's lips at the sound of the telephone.   
He swallowed hard before swiftly walking down the hallway to the kitchen.  
Omi stood in the hallway alone, staring at the place Youji once was.   
His lips still tingled and his head still felt a little dizzy.  
Putting his head back on strait, Omi walked down the hall and stopped   
at the entrance to the kitchen. Youji's back was facing him as he   
talked through the phone, "Yeah, it's Friday night... No. I'll pick it up   
at the dry cleaners... Wear a formal dress... Is that it...?"  
Omi bit his lip. So that's the -girl- he found to replace him? That's   
who he was talking to? Omi quickly turned around and walked into the living   
room. What was that for?! Did he just bring me in here to shove it in my  
face that he can do without me! I bet he was laughing to himself while   
he listened to me cry! Why did I ever let him kiss me like that?!  
Omi shoved his feet into his shoes and walked to the door.  
"Sorry about- Omi?" He heard Youji's voice down the hall. Omi felt   
hot tears coming to her eyes. Even after that call he was going to pretend   
he liked him!  
Omi grabbed the doorknob only to find it wouldn't open, "Shoot!" he   
twisted it but it still wouldn't move. Finally, he realized it was locked.   
He twisted the lock and opened the door only to have it shut against his   
will. Omi looked around for the pressure that held the door and found   
Youji behind him with his hand against the upper part of the door.  
Omi glared at him, "Let me go!"  
"I can't."  
"Yes you can!" Omi tried to move his arm but he wouldn't budge,   
"What is the matter with you! I don't have to be told twice to leave you   
alone! I will, okay!" Omi swallowed his tears and pulled on the door.   
"Omi, I shouldn't have-  
"Kissed me." Omi finished for him as he finally turned around giving up,   
"I know, that's what every guy says in the movies after they kissed a person   
they don't love..."  
"No, you're wrong. I shouldn't have taken that phone call."  
Omi stared at him, "What?"  
"I admit that I scared myself for a second there when the phone rang.   
I was afraid that I would lose you for good but then I answered the   
phone..."  
"And talked to your date." Omi looked down, "I heard you talking."  
"She's not my date, she's my friend from work. I have a charity dance   
to go to this weekend and she had to go as well. She was just asking when   
and what was going on."  
Omi mentally smacked himself. There he went again, making snap   
judgments! When would he ever learn?!  
"You thought she was my date?" Youji chuckled to himself.  
Omi glared at him, "If it were the other way around you'd think the   
same thing!"  
"Alright, alright, calm down." Youji pulled Omi away from the door   
much to his dislike.  
"I thought our discussion was over." he stated.  
"Far from it. I didn't get to the part about not taking the phone."  
Omi crossed her arms and waited.'  
"My secretary just broke up with her four year boyfriend and... I   
just realized... even though she broke up with him now, she still loved   
the time she had with him."  
"She told you this on the phone?"  
"No, she told me this a week ago but it didn't sink in till now."  
Omi sighed, "So what does that mean?"  
"It means I love and that I always will!" He lifted his face to look into   
his eyes, "I love you..."  
Omi's eyes misted, "No..." his face crumbled at his words,   
"you don't..."  
Youji stopped smiling and looked down on his sad face, "Yes I do."  
"Then why did you break up with me?"  
"Because... Omi, does that really matter? Can we just go back to how   
things were? I'll tell you one day, but not today, please?"  
Omi looked away and sniffed, "I don't know if I can do that... you   
might... hurt me again."  
"Try."  
"I will." Omi looked up at him, "But it might take me a while to   
pick up the pieces."  
"That's all I ask." Youji took him in his arms and whispered into his   
hair, "And I'll help put your heart back together anyway I can."  
  
The End 


End file.
